Some Humor

Even if you don't like the Joke at the end of this story, you should at least get a better understanding of the churches in the lead up to the Joke .

The major Churches have been changing fairly dramatically over the last forty years or more. It more or less started in the 1960's when the leaders of the Catholic Church could not agree on who should be Pope so they decided to appoint a nice elderly person who they thought would be unlikely to do anything controversial until such time as they could decide on a younger Pope. So they elected John the XX111.

This Pope did have a sense of humor.

 Like every old organization, the Vatican (where the Pope resides ) has always had lots of people walking around and someone noticing this once asked Pope John; " Your Holiness, how many people do work here " ? And the reply was : " Actually very few ... "

But funnily enough when he became Pope he started to make more changes than any Pope had done for centuries. He decided to have a big conference in Rome where all the Catholic leaders were to look at the church and decide whether it needed to become more modern in its outlook.

The conservatives were horrified by this as they were happy with things as they were, and did not want any changes. But the Catholic Church is not structured in a very democratic way ( at least as far as decision making is concerned ) and usually whatever the Pope says - tends to happen.

 At that time for instance there were tens of thousands of Catholic Nuns who all wore black garments like many Islamic women still do these days. But following the big conference which was known as the Vatican Council, a decision was made to allow the Nuns to more or less decide for themselves if they wanted to wear the traditional garment which was known as a ' Habit ' or they could wear more modern street clothes.

If you will excuse the pun, a lot of them decided to start kicking their Habits. ho ho.

Whatever, that was just the beginning and now the Catholic Church has changed a great deal, and other major Christian Churches have changed also.

Unfortunately the Islamic churches, at least in the poorer Countries still practice their religion as it has been practiced for hundreds of years. Decisions like allowing Islamic Women to wear any type of clothes they want- are made by the male leadership and they are very conservative. So women's liberation has not progressed very far in most of the Islamic churches .

 Indeed there are barbaric traditions which go back many centuries, for instance Women (It did not apply to men of course) who might have been accused, rightly or wrongly, of not being faithful to their husbands, were usually tied up in a public place and had stones thrown at them until they died from their injuries.

 Really monstrous punishments for sins of which they were not always guilty. Sometimes a husband would accuse his wife of being unfaithful so that she would be killed and he could marry another woman.

 Color TV and the Internet will eventually have such a modernizing impact on young Islamic people that big changes will take place in the Islamic countries. The sooner the better.

But all this is leading up to a Joke. Religion in general has always been a very serious matter. The Churches have always regarded their spiritual leaders very seriously.

In all my time in the Christian Churches, I have never heard any joke that related to Jesus. Yet it is believed that Jesus in his early days was just a humble Carpenter and there was no reason to believe that he would not have had a sense of humor.

So I heard this story about Jesus which may or may not have been true . In his time the Romans ruled and they were normally fairly severe where punishments were concerned. They used to place men on Wooden Crosses along streets like lamp posts and leave them to die. This was believed to have been the fate that Jesus suffered, but instead of just being tied to a cross, apparently as an additional punishment he had metal spikes driven through his hands and feet to secure him to the Wooden Cross.

 The story of Jesus did not end there . It was said that a few days later he returned from the dead and appeared to his followers. They were naturally amazed and some were disbelieving. One in particular was Thomas ( later known as doubting Thomas) who was reported to have said " Lord I will not accept that it is really you, until i can examine your wounds ( from the cross ) closely "

That was the official version, but there was the alternative story, and this related to an earlier time when Jesus had walked on water to show his followers that he was no ordinary person.

So the alternative story had Thomas saying to Jesus; ' Lord, if it is really you - walk on the water again "

Jesus with his irrepressible sense of humor replied ; " Oh Thomas - how do you expect me to walk on the water with these holes in my feet " ?

Now not everyone might find that story funny, but it could have happened and there is no reason why religious people cannot have a sense of humor.

After all it could turn out that in the next life there might be no punishment at all. That is why we should try to make this world a better place for everyone.

I used to know an Anglican Minister who did not like people driving their cars very fast. He would say; " better to be a little late in this life rather than a little early in the next. "

 You see the fundamentalist Christians (and the Jewish people who wear black clothes all the time) ) tend to think that every thing in the Bible is inspired by God and is indeed the word of God.

 To them every word in the Bible is sacred. Well one of the revered people in the old Testament was a Man called Leviticus. He took it into his head that Crustaceans (crabs, lobsters etc) were evil and not only that - he wrote that they were evil in Gods eyes as well.

Uh Oh, that is a problem for the fundamentalists because they never knew that eating lobsters etc might be sinful.

Most fundamental Christians are good people but they do take their beliefs too far. The way to bring them down to earth is to bring this quote from Leviticus to their attention, and it really throws them.

They can go into a kind of meltdown and when you see them next, you tell them that all the old testament Prophets thought that the planet Earth was flat, and Jonah , who gained fame when he told people that he had spent three days in a Whale (no witnesses of course) was probably just a publicity seeker who could tell a whopper of a story.

 In time the effect is like when children get older and they start to realize that Santa is a good story for kids but... What you have left is some very good hearted Christians who don't think like extremists anymore.

Though just between ourselves I think God might hate Crabs anyway

. http://godhatescrustaceans.com/

The definition of a Gentleman.

A Gentleman is a man who knows how to play the scottish bagpipes, but out of consideration for his neighbors - chooses not to do so.